Thursday, December 29, 2016

I Had A Major Epiphany Over Christmas!!

TRUTH!!

I know I said the month of December we should put real life aside but something happened over Christmas and I have to share.

Definition of Perception: An awareness of things through the physical senses, especially sight!

My weight has always been an issue or at least I can’t ever remember a time I didn’t think about it and I think…NO… I know it has shaped my life and not in a good way.

Based on how I see myself I have been a chunkster forever…maybe lose a pound or two here or there but over all chubby. And in high school I really thought I was fat,that carried to college and now.

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Feeling Inspired…


Black Girl Magic!!!
Oprah and the FLOTUS interview this week gave me so much life. I had all the feels. It was something about seeing those two powerful black women just chatting and hanging out that was so inspiring. Just watching them made me want to be better. The interview was nothing short of amazing but one of the things I realized is they are just like me they started a path like mine and they worked their butts off to be where they are now. And they both are truly walking in their purpose.

As you know I turn 40 next year…shocker LOL and I feel like by then, heck by now I should be out here being great and making big moves doing what I love but I’m not.  I’m not sure what it was but seeing them on primetime TV made me see a new world. Yes, we have dude as our president (I’m working on the go low we go high thing) but there is still so much to be excited and hopeful about…I don’t know it just made me want to really be awesome.

Thursday, December 15, 2016

I LOVE CHRISTMAS MOVIES!!


Classic!!
Here’s the deal…life is going to continue to happen and man mine is turnt all the way up but it is the most wonderful time of the year so I decided to press pause on real life for a while and have a little fun.

Christmas movies make me extremely happy…whomever decided to start making them I love them. I am a hopeless romantic and maybe possibly super cheesy but honestly I love them all.

 All I need is a good happily ever after and  if they include a baby in the ending it for sure goes down as best Christmas movie ever. Oh and add a family coming together it just warms my heart.

I also don’t discriminate I don’t care what color the characters are they all make me happy and warm and fuzzy inside.

I decided to share some of my favs…please believe this is not all of them but these really make me happy and most I have probably watched a LOT of times. Also, in no particular order just how they popped in my head.

Thursday, December 8, 2016

Christmas can be…


A sad time for this single almost 40 girl...you've heard the song...What do the lonely do at Christmas LOL! I mean I would love to have a date to a fancy Christmas party, ride around to see all the Christmas lights in rich neighborhoods and go to ICE in Opryland (see image below).
This is ICE! I'm going one day






And even more I love to see Christmas through a child’s eye and my own child would be awesome. Having a house with an adult tree and my kid’s tree, picking out gifts for them and seeing their excitement when they open them.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Allow Me To Reintroduce Myself…

Besides my birth month
December is my favorite
My name is HOV H to the OV…I love that line not sure why but it was so fitting for this post I just had to LOL! 

 It’s December 1st we are 24 days from Christmas and 162 days away from me turning 40 and people always say new month/new goals so I wanted to reintroduce myself and refresh your memory of the purpose of the blog…a reintroduction, a fresh start. And also to get myself back on track!

Sunday, November 13, 2016

My First (and definitely not my last) Blogalicious Conference!


I had the best time!!
I am not even sure where to begin…my first Blogalicious conference far exceeded my expectations! I have been blogging I guess about a year and I was really going to the conference just to meet more bloggers. I thought how cool would it be to meet other bloggers, maybe make a friend or two. That is really all I expected and I figured anything else would be icing on the cake. What I received was a 10 layer wedding cake with icing and fondant LOL!

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

In Case You Were Wondering!!

I am about that count down life dawg!! LOL

We are now 192 days away from the BIG 4 0 and there are a couple of things I am pretty sure are not going to happen…I will not be married by 40 nor will I be pregnant or have a kid arghhh so I am working on letting that sink in and moving on to what can happen by the BIG 4 0!!! I know stranger things have happened but I like to live in reality LOL!
What I do know is that mannnn I have a lot of 1st World Problems and things that I cannot change only God can when he sees fit so what I need to do is focus on what I can change because the majority of the things I am stressing myself out about I can’t fix…only the man upstairs can.

So, what does that mean for me and the next 192 days??? Most importantly how am I going to bring in 40…it falls on a Saturday so I feel like that is a sign that I must celebrate in the biggest way possible…right??? I’m open to ideas so bring em on!

Thursday, October 27, 2016

WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF!!!

Let's do this people!!

I meant that title to be in all caps LOL! This is for me and all you other people out there who are worrying about everybody else…STOP IT!!
My dad always tells me if you spend 100% of your time worrying about yourself how much time do you have to worry about someone else…get it, got it, good!  

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Got Friends????


I mean real true friends!!

Before you answer yes…see if you can say yes to all of these things below or at least a few:

·       Non-judgmental friends

·       Friends who can hear you say about three words and know something isn’t right

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

I Need to Free Myself of the Have It All Desire!!

Me 5 days out the 7 day week LOL (minus the degree)
Who in the world put this desire in my head?
Last week was tough at work and this week isn’t shaping up any better. I’m overwhelmed, frustrated etc. and I find when this happens the first thing I ignore is myself. I didn’t work out one time last week and I ate A LOT of crappy food. And when I did finally get home I was still thinking about work so I was up late which means I was exhausted every day. But this is my pattern when my life isn’t going how I think it should I fall into this trap.

 I was scrolling through Instagram (yep it was late and I should have been sleep) and saw this excerpt on xonecole from Devi Brown and I was like OMG this is me. She said:

“As women we don’t give ourselves enough love and care and acceptance. Every day I would wake up feeling like I needed to escape and that’s a terrible feeling to have, wanting to escape but you have no idea to where. I was very restless and through that restlessness I got really sad because everything I thought I was working towards had been paused. I freed myself of that have-it-all desire and mentality because the truth is we’re just people. We’re just human beings. Having it all is not my goal.”

 I can’t begin to tell you how many times I have read this excerpt. It’s actually saved in my phone. It resonated with me more than anything I have read in a long time. And it’s weird because if you remember my last post was about not wanting to come back to my life to stay at my parent’s house forever.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

I Need to Create A Life That I Never Want To Leave!



This journey to 40 is something else and it seems like daily I learn more and more about what I want. I am also coming to the realization that I may not be there by 40 but at least I am working on it.
A couple of weekends ago I went to visit my parents as I usually do every other month or so because I like them a lot and their house is the best. There is no reason to be an adult, they always have food, they have a TV double my size that they allow me to watch (they watch the smaller one) to catch up on all my shows (yeah, I turned my cable off…being an adult sucks). Nobody ask me questions, I don’t have to do any work just be super  duper lazy. And it’s always a good time but by the end of the weekend I’m ready to get back to my house and reality.

Monday, September 12, 2016

Do I Really Have As Many Hours In A Day As Beyoncé???


Do I though???
Before you say it I know it’s been a long time but I’m back finally!!

Here we go…have you ever felt like you were always busy but you weren’t accomplishing anything? No? It’s just me…well I’ll be.

I am constantly busy, always doing something, always tired yet I don’t feel like I am doing anything. I am sure I wasted my 20’s and seems like most of my 30’s worrying about when I was going to get married, when I was going to have a baby and when I was going to find that perfect job. Yet here I am literally almost 40 and I don’t feel close to it at all and that scares me.

Friday, May 6, 2016

Mother’s Day Reminds Me It’s Good To Get Older!!

Me & momma...I love her!

It’s no secret I’m a Daddy’s girl…always have been and always will be. One of the reasons I think that happened is he pretty much let me do/say whatever I wanted and for the most part he thinks I can do no wrong.

On the other hand my mom was the disciplinarian and kept me together so in my head she was not the cool parent.

Ohhh but then you grow up and realize this woman is freaking amazing and if it wasn’t for her I’m not sure where I would be.

The older I get I realize how awesome she is…I really see that everything she ever did was for the good of my brother and I.

Yes, she may have been tough but Lord knows I needed it.

I think back now of all I had and all she did and how she never slept (she still doesn’t sleep) and I’m like man she is remarkable. I don’t care how many hours she worked we always had home cooked meals. I gained so much weight when I went to college because I was finally able to eat out whenever I wanted. No lie I don’t think I ever had hamburger helper until college.

There were so many things I wanted to do that I thought made sense and she was like “NO” there was no discussion. She was the because I said so parent LOL! And I can say without a doubt not one of them would have me where I am now.

Even at 38…almost 39 in exactly a week (plug LOL) she still takes care of me as if I am still a kid. She never stops being a mom no matter how old we get. She isn’t that parent that said once you are 18 I am done she is always there.

This last year has been rough with everything going on with my dad but she hasn’t skipped a beat. You would think something would lack because she has taken on more. Nothing has she is still the same…I think she is the energizer bunny.

So, when I say Mother’s Day reminds me it’s good to get older it is because now I am able to see her true greatness and truly appreciate it.

The older I get I realize all she sacrificed and I am so thankful that she is still here for me to tell her.

In addition to that she is kind of my friend now…don’t get it twisted she is a momma first and does not play so I still have to watch it. But our relationship has grown over the years and only me getting older could allow that.

If I am fortunate enough to become a mother one day I can only pray I am half the Mother she is and if I am one day my kid will write about me.

Happy Mother’s Day to my amazing mother and all the other amazing mom’s out there!!

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

ONE MONTH AND ONE YEAR AWAY!! OH MY GOSHHHHH!!


So, in exactly one month I will be 39 years old and then after that the countdown begins to 40!!

So, how do I feel? I’m not sure!

I have so many emotions…let’s start with the good stuff.

I am thankful to be celebrating another birthday and overall I seem pretty healthy. I could stand to lose a pound or two or 100 but I digress.

Overall my family is good…my dad’s process is going and I have faith he will be 100% sooner than later. My mom is still super awesome so that makes me happy.

A great friend stepped in and is helping me plan (I should say she is planning it) a fun birthday weekend because I wanted to do something more than just dinner since it is my last year in my 30’s…insert dramatic music.

That all sounds great right so why is that pesky feeling still there…what feeling you ask…the why me feeling, why is my life not as I planned it. In case you forgot click here http://iamalmost40nowwhat.blogspot.com/2015/07/this-was-not-plan.html

My life was planned out perfectly yet here I am:

·         No prospects

·         No dates

·         Date dresses going to waste

·         No Husband

·         No kid (s)

·         Job (could be better)

So, I think I need a Plan B!

The reality is some of this may never happen, it can and I’m not giving up hope but I can’t or at least I don’t want to continue living my life waiting for it to happen. I’m living but I’m not really living because I am waiting on all of the above. And this just can’t be living…can it?

So, here is my new plan…I want to try and learn how to be content with where I am and what I have in every aspect of my life.

Being comfortable in my size 14/16…not saying I will not try to lose weight but I want to learn to love the body I have because it has been here for a while LOL!

Stop buying “date dresses” just buy a dress and wear it when I feel like and if/when I get a date I can definitely do a repeat.

Start taking myself out on dates...put on my date dress and go out. I’m fun so I can have fun by myself.

And even if I do get a date (s) just enjoy it don’t try and make him my husband if it is meant to be it will be.

Get serious about my job search…I know for sure what I don’t want to do and I have a pretty good idea of what I want to do. So, just start applying and keep applying until it happens.

Last but not least…I want to be a mother I always have but realistically it may not happen the traditional route (yes, I read the reports about Janet Jackson but I’m living in reality here) so I need to prepare myself, my house, and my finances for adoption. Make myself understand it doesn’t matter how I become a mother as long as I become one.

In my usual transparent way let me say I am 150% sure I will have some woe is me moments and I will probably still pick up a dress that I deem a date dress BUT the point is I am working on it.

I have my list of goals and now I have put it out into the universe so someone will hold me accountable!

This journey to 40 is one I am kind of enjoying...I am learning a lot about myself good and bad. I hope as I continue on this journey I will continue to grow and be great.

I have a Destiny that God has planned out for me I just have to let him do it. Easier said than done :)!
Tina Campbell’s song Destiny sums it all up for me...take a listen Destiny by Tina Campbell

Watch out 40 I am coming for you!

Signed,
Almost 40

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Just One of Them Days!!!


Disappointment:
  1. 1 :  unhappiness from the failure of something hoped for or expected to happen <To her disappointment, the cookies were gone.>
  2. 2 :  someone or something that fails to satisfy hopes or expectations <The movie was a disappointment.>

 Disappointment is what I am feeling right nowL!

Have you ever had something you wanted so close and within no time it was taken away? Yep, that happened to me this morning.

So, I know people and I know myself and people will want to know why (heck I would) so in total transparency…here we go.

Long story short…I hope LOL!

An old boss called me about a position with her new company…it was an exciting role doing something I really want to get back to. She said she wanted me but her boss had to approve. I met him and he really didn’t interview me we just chatted. At the end he said it was ultimately her (my old boss) decision unless he doesn’t like the person. Well, fast forward to this morning…guess he didn’t like me she let me know they went with someone else.

I will not bore you with all the facts but let’s just say where I currently am is not turning out how I thought and I feel like I am not using many of my skills and there is a fear that my resume is getting stale due to some impulsive career choices I have made. No one’s fault but my own and I own it. But now as I am getting closer to 40 I want to change it…get back on track.

I want to be a Black Girl who Rocks and I don’t feel like I am rocking right now.

I am not sure how to cure disappointment…I am sure I will be sad for a while, probably eat something super unhealthy (don’t judge me), listen to gospel music…hey I need some Jesus right now. And eventually get back on the band wagon.

I know life is truly what you make it and hard work and sacrifice will eventually pay off. But I am like most humans when I want it right now!

I am going to leave you with a couple quotes from one of the best…Maya Angelou. I hope they will get me and whoever else is maybe having a moment today to feel better.

"You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them."

- Excerpted from Letter to My Daughter, a book of essays (2009)

"We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated."

- The Art of Fiction No. 119, the Paris Review

 

Signed,

Almost 40

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

The Real World Sucks And I Don’t Mean The MTV Show!!!


I'm getting my jelly back dang it!!
 
Let’s be honest…the real world sucks a lot! As kids we couldn’t wait to be adults and now we would give anything to go back.

I had the opportunity to truly escape from the real world this past weekend to celebrate a friend and hang with some awesome ladies. It was true black girl magic at its finest.

I would be lying if I said I didn’t think about my reality a few times but overall I was all in for this escape.

Calories didn’t count this weekend…I mean one day I had a cupcake and ice cream before lunch now that is living the good life.

I took my shorts and cover-up off with no hesitation…swimsuit only and was okay with it. When I sat down all of my rolls were on display but I didn’t feel self-conscious at all I was just enjoying myself.

If you know me I am rhythm less nation but I shared my moves all weekend LOL!

It was one of those times where I really felt like for once I was living in the moment and that is my biggest goal in this journey to 40.

The black girl magic I experienced this weekend has no doubt made me a better person. Being in the presence of all of these amazing women has pushed me to do better in all aspects of my life.

We laughed until it hurt, we may or may not have shed a tear or two (at the end though LOL). It was exactly what I needed.

Real life sucks…not all of the time but a lot of the time so to escape is priceless.

Now as you are reading this I’m probably sitting at my desk nerves on 1000 because of these 50/11 emails I have and the amount of work to be accomplished today and I’m not happy. BUT I have memories of the past weekend to go back to. Life doesn’t always suck there is fun to be had I just have to find it.

As I continue on this journey to 40 I really am beginning to see that life is really what you make of it. You can sit in the house all the time alone or you can get up, get out, and get something don’t let the days of your life pass by. Well, that’s just what I’m going to do and if I fall back into that place which is highly possible…I have enough black girl magic around  to keep me going.

Signed,

Almost 40

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

What Is My Definition Of Success?

I'm on my way...I think/I hope!!


I was asked to answer this question a few weeks ago and I have really been thinking about it and I think I finally have it. But if you have followed my blog for a while you know there is a story coming…I can’t just simply give a 1-2 sentence response LOL!
In my 20’s I think well I know success to me was balling, making it rain at the mall (I do not think those words were out in my 20’s but no clue what the cool lingo was back then J) but you get my point. All I thought about or cared about was making money…I had a few, maybe several jobs in my 20’s because I wanted to make a lot of money I didn’t care about the job itself I just wanted  to shop when I wanted to, eat out whenever, etc.
Then the early 30’s hit and success to me was being a wife and mother. It consumed my life and made me feel like my life sucked because I wasn’t that. To me that is where I was supposed to be. I lived La Vida Loca in my 20’s and now it was time to settle I mean doesn’t everyone do that in their 30’s. And since I wasn’t there or even close I felt like a loser for lack of a better word.
So, here we are now in my late 30’s and I think I know what I want success to look like for me. Success to me is being a great daughter, an awesome aunt, a cool sister, and a fantastic friend. 
Years ago I was watching this episode of Oprah and this lady said she wrote her own obituary and she wasn’t really pleased with it so she worked on being a different person.
Right now at this point if I wrote my obituary I’m not sure what it would say and I’m not sure it would all be great. When I leave this earth I don’t want my friends and family to struggle to find good things to say about me or to leave a lot out.
You know you have been to those funerals where people struggle to find the right words because that person sucked!  I want my friends and family to be able to say she made this world a better place while she was here and I am glad she was in my life.
Understand I would be lying if I said I still didn’t want to make it rain in Louis Vuitton one day but I would also like to make it rain at a homeless shelter.  
I also still want to be a mother and wife but my goal is not to let that define my success but to make that an addition to my success. I may not ever be a wife but I have plans to become a mother maybe not naturally but adoption is there and when that happens I will be the best mother I can be…thankfully I have an awesome role model. Shout out to my momma.
At the end of the day I think we all can define success however we want I think you just have to figure out what works for you and what is going to make you happy. And I am not mad if success to you is making it rain in LA down Rodeo Drive but just take me with you LOL!
How do you define success?
Signed,
Almost 40

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Three Words I Thought I Would Never Say!!

Hope It's a Great One!

Happy Valentine’s Day!! If you know me and /or have followed me on social media you know I am usually the Grinch who stole Valentine’s Day but not this year.

In addition to today being Valentine’s Day I am also going to a baby shower… attending a baby shower on the biggest couple holiday of the year would typically make me the queen of woe is me!

But not today I am okay… In the words of Nivea’ song “Okay” I am feeling good, feeling great, I look good, don’t hate! Granted no one is hating on me but it is a part of the song LOL!

Today, I’m happy…I’m not sad because I’m single and dateless I’m genuinely happy. Of course there are things I am concerned about but overall life isn’t bad so I am not going to spend this day being a Grinch.

I even have on red to really make a statement…usually I wear all black to really show my misery.

This may seem small to some people but it’s big for me…I have hated this holiday for years and I have the Facebook posts to show it. I mean sat in my house super sad…roughly sad 2 weeks in February so the fact that I’m not on February 14, 2016 I am proud of me and patting myself on the back.

I am a work in progress and as I continue in this journey I am learning that life really is what you make it and I want to make mine happy.  I would be lying if I said I didn’t hope/pray one day that I will be celebrating Valentine’s Day with a boo and maybe even a kid but this one I am celebrating with some awesome friends and that’s totally okay.

Now, let’s be clear because I do not want judgment later…there very well maybe a woe is me day in the near future…I’m human! So, continue to pray for me on this journey!

I hope everyone enjoys their Valentine’s Day and whatever it brings you…I’m definitely going to enjoy mine. Might even treat myself to a nice dinner!

Signed,

Almost 40

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

I use to hate February but now I don’t!!


Sing the title to the beat of Lauryn Hill & Mary J Blige’s “I use to love him” LOL!

If you are a friend, family member or have followed me on social media the last several years you know I despise February.
If you aren’t sure exactly how I feel about it…this clip pretty much sums it up! Click here to see how I feel about this stupid holiday!

I totally get it…its black history month & two of my favorite people in the world were born in February...my daddy and my nephew!

But that stupid holiday is also in February...que the violin... VALENTINES DAY!!

And because of that for more years than I care to admit I have hated this month. I haven't had a Valentine or a stupid date on this day in years. So, when I walk in every freaking store and it looks like Valentine’s Day has thrown up I'm like UGHHH!!

BUT now I am almost 40 and I'm supposed to be growing and embracing life so this year I'm going to love February...treat myself to a nice gift, go out and buy me some flowers and be THANKFUL  that my daddy and my nephew are here celebrating another birthday.

Now I would be lying if I said I didn't want a Valentine but this year I'm going to do my best to not dwell on it and live in my feelings. This year I want to acknowledge that it sucks because I'm single yet again but move on. Not be sad for the next couple of weeks.

I still may or may not do a big side eye when I walk in Target or Walmart and all I see is red, pink, hearts, and bears, oh my…hey I'm human and I'm allowed to have a moment. They key is not to live in it and that's my goal this month.

And who knows maybe next year this post will be totally different...I just may have a date and/or a Valentine!!! A girl can dream right
!!

Signed,
Almost 40

Friday, January 22, 2016

You Only Get One Life To Live!!



My Goal for 40!!
 
I have been thinking all day…really all week what to blog about this week and I had ideas but I just didn’t feel them enough in my spirit to share. Then Snow Apocalypse 2016 gave me a free day and what does one do on a free day besides watch the DVR and eat…hang out on social media on and off all day.

I saw this post above and I thought that’s it…this is what my whole journey to 40 is for…this is where I want to be.

I think I have said before I feel like I wasted my 20’s and most of my 30’s just trying everything, worrying, stressing and to be honest I am over it. I want true happiness, when I wake up every day I want to be happy about everything. Yes, I will have issues and problems will arise but I want to be that person who can handle them and keep pushing. Not the one that wants to lie under the covers and eat & sleep all day.

I want to enjoy life, live in the moment, and love all of me for simply who God made me!!

But here’s the downside to all of that…it doesn’t happen overnight. Whyyyyyyyy??? These are all things I want to work on, I have to work on. I have heard people say when you get in your 40’s you just get it, it’s great. I want to walk in my 40’s like Beyoncé…see video attached and I just might wear that outfit too :)!

But I have to work on it…which means all of these 1st world problems I have to let go and I have to not only say it but believe that God will always work it all out.

So, here we are 476 days out from my 40th birthday so I have time and I’m going to do it. But don’t expect the Beyoncé walk to soon but believe me its coming!

I do not know everything and I am learning everyday more and more about myself and life in general but what I do know is one day I am going to get it and when I do…you will know because that walk will be right. Again see video attached LOL!

Signed,

Almost 40

Friday, January 15, 2016

I CAN NOT BELIEVE I OWN ONE OF THESE!!!

This isn’t happening…I can’t believe it…It is official I have a planner ughhhhhhh!!!

I am/was so against these things I even talked about people who had one and/or gave them a mean side-eye.

Let me explain…well I’m not sure I can I just know I think it’s so annoying when I’m like hey do you want to grab dinner and someone is like let me see if I’m free. In my head it is a simple yes or no. I feel like that’s so bougie or you are pretending to be important and ain’t nobody got time for that.

So, yes I would give major side-eye or be like OMG are you really that important or do you really have that much to do…girl bye!  

Last year I forgot a lot of stuff and/or double booked and it was  bad so I had to come to terms with the fact that I need a better plan than my memory. Guess almost 40 means memory skills suck!

Some people have commented to me just use your cell phone…yeah that doesn’t work for me because I usually miss the alarm or ignore it and I still forget. So, I bit the bullet and bought a planner…picture attached. And it is already filling up.

I would like to apologize to all the people I talked about and/or side-eyed I didn’t mean it…well I meant it but I didn’t understand. So, for that I am truly sorry. I thought you were pretending to be important. I now know you were just keeping your life in order. Clearly I like to live La Vida Loca LOL!!

Seems the older I get the busier I get which I’m not complaining because busy keeps my mind off of my 1st World Problems.

This planner is going to make me a better friend, better employee, better committee member, and just a better person overall. I am glad I am growing even if it is something as simple as a planner all growth is good right?  

But FYI if you ask me to do something and I say let me check my planner feel free to talk about me and/or side-eye me…I deserve it.

I am trying really hard just to be a better me in general so if this stupid planner…yes I still think it’s stupid and I hate pulling my planner out in public but if it helps me to get my life in order then I’ll keep using itL.

Signed,

Almost 40
Here it is...the keeper of my life ugh!!

Monday, January 4, 2016

Peace to 2015…My Destiny is waiting!!


I AM NOT making any resolutions for the New Year because I have never ever in life kept one. And let’s be real I know I need to lose weight and eat healthier (these are the common ones) but that is something I should just do a New Year is not going to make me more or less focused. How do I know because it never has. But I’m working on it.

I really thought hard about what I want my 2016 to look like not so much what I am going to do but who will I be. And then it hit me…10 years ago this week I moved here and it was kind of on a whim. I felt like I just wasn’t doing anything in Chattanooga so I needed to go.  I also wanted to work in my major (Mass Communications with an emphasis in Journalism) and it wasn’t happening in Chattanooga.

I applied to places in Atlanta and Nashville and got nothing. Finally I called a newspaper in Gallatin, TN that I had an internship with when I was in undergrad. They were looking for a Crime beat reporter and asked could I come up for an interview and a writing test. I was offered the job and in about a month’s time (if I am remembering correctly…I am almost 40 LOL) I had to find a place to live, fill up an apartment and get started.

Thank God for my family because I was living with my parents so all I had was clothes and shoes they got everything for me and I was off.

My first few years here I felt like I was killing it…I got an MBA, bought a new car, and a house and then it stopped. I feel like ever since I closed on my house I have not  did anything spectacular…nothing to write home about.

I feel like I have spent these last few years trying to see what’s next. I have just been focused on finding a job I LOVE, making enough money to really live, wishing, praying for a date, a boyfriend, a fiancé , a husband, and a baby. It’s like I have missed out on life trying to see what’s next.

So, for 2016 I want to try to just live and enjoy life! Not worry about tomorrow because as we all know nobody knows what tomorrow holds but the man upstairs. I want to just live in the moment…enjoy every moment as if it’s my last. I am just going to follow Jesus and live my journey as it was written.

One of my new favorite songs is by Tina Campbell called Destiny…I am going to put a little snippet below but the video is attached. Please take a few minutes to listen it will bless you.

I've got a vision and a purpose
A divine destiny
It may not look like it right now
But faith ain't what I see
It is the things I hope for
believing that it will come
And no matter how long it takes
I know God's will shall be done

I know there is a vision and purpose for my life and I think I have been trying to force it but I am just going to Let Go, and Let God and it will happen in HIS time!

I’m not saying I am not going to have moments and wonder why it hasn’t happened yet but I am going to work really hard to not focus on it and just enjoy life with my family and friends. Because really what will be, will be. I have been stressing and worrying the last few years and we see what that has got me…LOTS of headaches!

Happy New Year all…I hope your 2016 is everything you hope it will be!

Signed,

Almost 40

Peace to 2015!!! #firstselfieof2016
Destiny by Tina Campbell