Monday, September 21, 2015

What I Learned At My 20-Year Class Reunion!

My 20-year class reunion was Labor Day weekend and it was a good time…it was so great to catch up with everyone. There were some people who the last time I saw them was graduation day June 1995.

Part of our reunion was touring our old school and we went in classrooms, shared stories, tried to remember who did what, who fought who etc. and laughed until I think we cried.

At the end of that portion I remember thinking I didn’t go to our 10-year class reunion because I felt like I wasn’t where I wanted to be in my life and was afraid of the judgment and/or of being questioned.

As I spent the weekend with my classmates I thought no one really cares if I’m married, if I have kids, if I’m making the big bucks this really is about reminiscing and being thankful that most of us are still here to celebrate.

So, what I learned is that geez get out of my head sometime, stop living in my feelings, and try to enjoy the NOW. No one knows what the future holds (well God) but if I keep living in my feelings and worrying about my future I’m going to miss my right now.

So, another one of my goals for this journey is just to live…now those are 3 simple words but for someone like me it is probably going to be one of the hardest things I will ever try to do.

 I don’t know that I have ever lived in the moment, I am always thinking about my next thing.

But it is worth a shot…to just live and not think about what tomorrow brings because if I’m being really honest tomorrow is not promised to any of us so I need to just enjoy my here and now!

Now, will I do it is the question…I have no idea BUT I’m going to try and that’s all I can do right.


Almost 40

Friday, September 18, 2015

The Next 7 Days!

I was scrolling through the channels and got to OWN and saw Iyanla Vanzant and there was an audience of men and women and they were discussing relationships and why men & women do what they do. I am pretty sure it was a re-run but I stayed on the channel and she gave the  women in the audience a goal.

It was an Aha moment for me…I have heard that I don’t look approachable, I don’t smile, flirt etc. well heck not sure I know how and to me just randomly smiling makes me look crazy and what if he is like Ughh. I can’t handle that.

Iyanla told all the ladies for the next 7 days to smile,  and speak to every man they see…basically saying it will not kill you.

As I heard that I was like hmmm can I do that…and self was like well you are on this journey to 40 try it and see what happens.
So, I’m going to try it and I know to everybody reading this you probably think I am crazy and/or think that is easy but I have told y’all I am shy and rejection OMG I can’t.

But I’m going to try and smile, speak and maybe even start a conversation…yeah probably not the conversation part but hopefully my smiling will get one started.

So, I need all my Real Saints to pray for me…if you are around two other people I need all 3 of y’all to touch and agree that I got this.

I’ll keep you posted and if I don’t know that I have not turned my frown upside down LOL!


Almost 40

Monday, September 14, 2015

Jesus Is Real!!

The last week or so I have just felt overwhelmed and really tired in my personal & professional life.

Been in one of those I would prefer not to be around people moods and I felt like God hasn’t answered my prayers like I wanted him to. I know I should get over myself but this is my truth.

I was/am just feeling like what is going on and I didn’t necessarily want to blog about it or talk to my friends because honestly I don’t really know what it is I feel. I just know I don’t feel right.

I wake up every day and go on with my life but deep down I just want to be in my bed under the covers.

It’s like I need/want the life that I had planned RIGHT NOW in MY time not HIS time.

Well, I think we all know that isn’t going to happen LOL!

Before I went to sleep Saturday night I got my clothes ready for church because I knew I needed some Jesus and I got up when my alarm went off but I kept laying there.

Granted I am always late for church but it was 8:45am and I was still in the bed (church starts at 9:30am) and I debated about going but I got up and got dressed and man am I happy I did.

By the time I got seated the choir started singing this song:

Jesus is real,
I know the Lord is real to me.
Jesus is real,
I know the Lord is real to me.
(Sometimes when I'm feeling low,)
(no where to go,)
(Jesus comes along)
(and He makes me strong.)
For I know, oh,
Jesus is real.

And after the first verse I had this calm feeling come over me…got a little teary-eyed but I felt like God was talking to me. Reassuring me that He is Real and I just need to continue to pray and wait for it. It all works in HIS time not mine.

 I have said it before and will say it again…this journey to 40 is all about growth for me and I don’t think it’s going to be easy but I plan to come out of it stronger. So, stick with me we have 606 days to go.


Almost 40

Friday, September 4, 2015

I Love Say Yes To The Dress!!

This is one of my favorite shows but I seriously need to STOP watching it! They had a marathon on last weekend and of course I watched a lot of it LOL!

I am so bad watching it I even google pics of dresses I like and pin them to my Pinterest board…yes I have a problem SMH. SN-check out my Pinterest board if you are planning a wedding it is pretty good.

But here’s the problem I watch these shows and I get even sappier because of course all of these shows have happy endings.

I know marriage is more than a wedding but I would be lying if I said I didn’t want a wedding. I already have my dress appointment planned out…I know shocker! Just my mom & I that is one of those things I think I should just do with my mom I never understand why people take entourages but to each its own.

See, look how I got sidetracked and started talking about my dress appointment and I don’t even have a date/boyfriend/fiancĂ©’ I have issues. Jesus take the wheel!

But now you see why I must stop watching these shows I just keep planning my future and ain’t nothing going on with my future love life…que the violin.

But as usual I will probably keep watching these too…maybe I need to lie on someone’s couch.


Almost 40