Thursday, July 20, 2017

Am I Walking in the Spirit of Girlfriend?

As you know, I am single and have been for a long time and I’m not sure why. If you know me and/or have read my blog you know it is not by choice.

Before you say it...I know! I know I have to wait on God, but while I am waiting I want to make sure I am ready when he sends me the older version of Kofi Siriboe (better known as Ralph Angel from "Queen Sugar") LOL! 

 I saw a video clip from Pastor John Gray and it has me thinking. In the clip he says “Ask the Lord to make sure you are not walking in the spirit of girlfriend. The Bible says… he that finds a wife, finds a good thing and attains favor. You are not a wife when I marry you; you are a wife when I find you. Wife is not the presence of a ring, but of your character. The reason many men can’t find a wife is because we have too many women walking around with the spirit of a girlfriend. Giving wife benefits to a man that is not going to marry you. Boys play games, men cut covenant. “

So, the big question…am I walking like a girlfriend instead of showing that I am a wife? Also, if I am walking in the spirit of girlfriend is it because I’m not ready to be a wife?

Understand, I haven’t had a date in forever and a day so I’m not out here giving wife benefits, but this made me think about how I am presenting myself.

What do you all think about this statement from Pastor Gray? Do you agree? Disagree? Am I over thinking this?

Let me know your thoughts!


Wondering if I am functioning in the spirit of girlfriend

Friday, July 14, 2017


With all that is on my plate this has been a tough week. I have been trying hard to wake up happy, think positive etc. but this week was a struggle.

The worst part is that it’s all on me…MY TIME MANAGEMENT SKILLS SUCK!

Let me give you some back story. I have a newish job...I have been there a little over two months. It is completely different than anything I have ever done so this learning curve is huge.

This job is challenging because it’s causing me to use a part of my brain that I haven’t used in years. I work over 8 hours most days and lunch breaks are few and far between. When I leave work I’m pooped and the thought of doing anything else makes my head hurt.

On top of that I’m all #healthynotskinny so at least three days a week I try to work out. The earliest I usually get home is around 8:45pm.

Oh, and let’s not forget, once I’m home I need to eat and get ready for the next day.

I also took on a leadership role in an organization I am apart of which means more work and I had an article due for my church magazine this week!

Last but not least…The Blog! I have so many dreams for my blog and where I want to see it go…more work!


I want to be great, wonderful, magnificent and amazing in everything I do but right now I’m feeling a bit mediocre.

Have you ever been so tired and frustrated that you can’t even function? That’s me right now. I have so much I want/need to do and I can’t wrap my head around how to make it all work.

Some friends, bloggers I stalk and my mom seem to do more than me daily and they make it look so easy. Did I mention they always look fabulous too?

Listen, I have worn jeggings to work more than once this week LOL and nothing on my face.

So, why am I telling you this? The purpose of this blog is to be transparent in sharing my journey in this thing called life. Social media will make you believe people’s lives are perfect. I know I have and do fall into the comparison trap (see above).

I’m sharing because last week I was preaching positivity, being happy etc. and this week...well...I’m not positive at all and its okay as long and I don’t live in this phase.

This is for anyone that is having a tough time. We are human and everyday isn’t going to be perfect but we just have to keep pushing. As the saying goes…This too Shall Pass!


Overwhelmed but not giving up

Thursday, July 6, 2017

Now that the Glitter has Settled

I have been forty for almost two months now and so far so good. If you follow me on social media then you know my birthday month was amazing. I don’t think I could have planned it out any better. I know for sure that I am really loved and blessed with the most amazing friends and family.

I started this journey to forty because I wanted my forties to be completely different than my thirties. My thirties were full of what if’s, woe is me, why not me, what is going to happen next week, next month or next year. I want my forties to be full of simply living and enjoying the moment.

Friday, June 23, 2017

Working on Living My Best Life

I’m settling into 40 and so far so good. I am working on getting  myself together physically and mentally to become a better me. 

For today's post I decided to call some of my celeb friends who are 40 plus (or I used Google...LOL) and see how they handled entering their 40’s. Check out what they had to say.

“When I turned 40, I was like, huh. I accept myself more now. It was much more comforting.”
-Jennifer Lopez

“I embraced it. There’s something freeing about 40. There’s something that allowed me to walk the walk and talk the talk of being the woman that I always wanted to be.”
-Gabrielle Union

Friday, June 9, 2017

You Really Don’t Have Any Kids???

I met this woman a couple of weeks ago at work and she was drilling me…all in my business. It’s work so you have to answer nicely and fake smile. She finally got around to asking how old was I, I told her, and the next question do you have kids and I just simply said "not yet." Her reaction was priceless and she said a couple of times...”you really don’t have any kids.”

My face when I was asked!
Non-work CaNesha wanted to say why exactly would I lie but CaNesha who has bills and enjoys nice things just said "not yet…"again. I am sharing this for two reasons.

First, people have to STOP treating women who don’t have kids like it’s a disease. There are so many reasons women do not have kids and it is really none of your business. Worry about yourself! My dad always says if you spend 100% of your time focusing on you and your business there isn’t any time left to worry about others. Say it with me…WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF!

The other reason I am sharing is because of my response and my reaction after the conversation. I have typically felt like I needed to explain, give the spill…"Yes, I would like kids, but I would like a date first, and then a husband...yeah, a husband would be good."

Thursday, May 11, 2017

My Prayer for Forty and Beyond!

We are almost to the finish line I will be forty this week…I can’t believe it’s almost here. I feel like I have been talking about it forever. The purpose of this journey was for me to learn to love the life that I have instead of the one I envisioned. I am definitely not there yet. I still have sadness around not being married or being a mom and I honestly don’t know if either one will ever happen. With that being said, I decided I needed a new prayer because, as I have said numerous times, I refuse to live my 40’s like I did my 30’s. I just can’t.

My Prayer:
God help me to be grateful for where I am right now. Move me into a place of acceptance…not accepting that it’s not going to happen but accepting where I am right now. Help me to dwell in gratitude. SN: If you watch The Book of John Gray on OWN I took this from his wife. She was ministering to a woman who could only think about having another baby. I’m sure Aventer Gray did not know she was ministering to me as well. I plan to post this on my bathroom mirror, my refrigerator, and any other place around my house that I see often.

What I know for sure, is that God will give us things when He thinks we are ready and no matter what we do we cannot rush it as much as we may want to. My 30’s, in general, were not bad…I made them bad by hoping, wishing for the life I planned out. I am ready for my 40’s! I have heard so many great things from women in their 40's so I am ready to Live, Laugh, and Love.

I debated on changing the title of my blog since I will be 40 Saturday but as I thought about the next phase of my blog and my life I realize we are in the now what phase. I look forward to sharing this new journey with you whatever that is LOL!

In my typical fashion, I have to remind you...I am human so I am sure there will be more woe is me posts but my hope is that eventually that type of post will not exist but don’t count them out. My goal is an greater percentage of happy posts and a small amount of woe is me. That’s all I can promise for nowJ.


Really Almost 40 and Ready to Live

Thursday, April 20, 2017

The Thrill is Gone!

I wanted my 40th Birthday to be epic but life and finances are not allowing me to be great. I really wanted 40 to be different than 30. I don’t even remember my 30th birthday. I’m not sure what I did or who I was with. All I remember about 30 is being sad because I wasn’t married or didn’t have kids.