Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Vegas Was…

I’m back from vacation and it was great. I have no complaints I think we did Vegas just as we should.
                                    Check out some pics!

Now as we know what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas but I mean come on I have diarrhea of the mouth so I can’t keep everything in LOL!
I am always envious of my friends who seem so free …it always seems like I’m uptight ugh!
I think or I hope I opened up more! I enjoyed myself and tried to just be free.
I think my main issue is I am concerned with how people view me. I know I shouldn't care but I do. 
I think growing up in Chattanooga my parents and brother knew everybody. I couldn’t walk down the street without someone saying I saw your daughter or your sister made me this way. 
I was afraid to do anything because I knew my parents or brother would find out so I had to be a good girl unfortunately or fortunately I am still that girl at almost 40.
I’m not saying I’m trying to be on the Bad Girls Club but I want to be the girl to dance like no one is watching, love like I’ll never be hurt, sing like nobody is listening and not give a damn if they are.
I’m not so sure if I will ever become her but I think there is hope. I have watched my mother blossom and she has become more assertive as she has gotten older so maybe there is hope.
I always hear people say as you get older the less you care about what others think and you get more comfortable with yourself so my hope is that this journey to 40 will help me open up and become the woman I imagine myself to be.
I have 632 days to get there LOL!
Almost 40

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