Thoughts From A Single Man And Me Of Course!!

This journey to 40 for me is about growth and to figure out my next steps in life because if you remember a past post this life is definitely not the one I planned.

I do know people say everything happens for a reason so it is a reason I don’t have that life but I also think there are things I can do to better myself.

I am 99.9% sure I have made a lot of mistakes in my 38 years and many of them probably took place while I was seeing someone LOL. It’s the truth and I am finally old enough to accept that.

I thought I would talk to a single man and ask some questions that I really wonder about either because of things I’ve heard or things that were said to me/about me.

I can talk to my girls all day long and have woe is me moments on why I’m single but they aren’t men.

I guess it’s the same thing as me calling my mom whenever I’m sick and every time she says go to the doctor. 

So, if I want to know a man’s thoughts I should ask one.

The man I spoke with is 34 and is in the Healthcare field and in old school terms he looks good on paper so what is a guy like this looking for. Why is he single…I know it’s the question I hate to get asked but I had to know.

Are you single by choice?
Yes, due to simply not meeting the woman that I want to be exclusive with yet. 

What are your turn-ons?
Intellect & knowledge. Can you talk to me about important world events & not reality TV? Someone that doesn't mind having a beer or drink! Spontaneous, cultured and worldly. Stylish & making sure her appearance is well maintained. 

 What are your turn-offs?
CLINGY (he made it all caps LOL)! Please have a life outside of your relationship & work. Boring, not into new things, no spontaneity. Doesn't care about her appearance, homely looking. Bad weaves.

 Me: I wear weave and I like it…it allows me to do things to my hair that with my natural hair I could never do…hence this blonde, I would be bald.  

 I was actually told by someone who was looking to hook me up (I asked her about single friends) ask if she could give me a make-over because the guys she was showing my picture did not like weaves.

 That was a blow to the ego because I think I look pretty good ( I mean I'm not Beyoncé but not bad on the eyes) and yes I wear weave but it always looks pretty good (shout out to my momma). Clearly, I didn’t change but it did make me wonder if that could be why I’m single.

SN: As single women I think we are always trying to figure out the why but deep down I know for whatever reason maybe it just isn’t time but my head and my heart refuse to get on the same page. And 38 is not making it any better but I digress!

 This brought me to my next question for him!

How do you feel about Weaves? Natural hair?
A good weave is perfectly fine. The kind of weave that can fool me into thinking it's your real hair. No outlandish weave or cheap weaves please. I'm also fine with natural hair.

Me: His response made me realize that it’s true there is somebody for everybody…the person who chooses to be with me will like me for me and will not try and change me.

Now he just has to find me because I love my weave LOL!

Stay tuned for part 2 where I find out if I need to keep buying date clothes, how long is to long to wait or should there be a time-frame, and do men talk about women as much as we talk about them?

I am learning a lot and I hope you are too!

Please share your thoughts…I would love to hear them.

Signed,

Almost 40