1 MONTH, 4 WEEKS, 30 DAYS, 720 HOURS, 43200 MINUTES AND 25920000 SECONDS

The BIG day is almost here I can't believe it...seems like I've been talking about it forever! This journey to 40 is almost over and I have realized  that I have did the same thing I have done FOREVER.

I have been stressing for years about the fact that I'm not married, that I don't have kids, and that I don't have the perfect job and I realized I have did the same thing with turning 40. I have put so much emphasis on turning 40 and what my life is going to be like, and what I expect that I've lost the excitement of turning 40 and just enjoying the moment. This seems to be the story of my life. ARGH!

Just Have Fun!!

The weekend before last I pretty much stayed in the house all weekend. Partly, because I was thinking my account was not setup for activities and partly because I was having a mini pity party…no birthday plans yet and it’s a month away, no dates, and no baby. You know the usual LOL! I promised myself the next weekend that was not going to happen.

I Really Am Thankful!!

The last couple of post have been a bit woe is me and I totally understand that all of my issues, complaints are pretty much first world problems so I decided for this week to talk about what I'm thankful for.  My life really isn't that bad it's just not working out how I hoped/planned it would. And I know if you want to make God laugh tell him your plans!

Here are just a few things I am thankful for:

Get It Wrong Until You Get It Right!

No Clue!

As we are getting closer and closer to my 40^th birthday…you know the one I have been building up for some time now I kind of feel like dang I suck. Have I accomplished any of the goals I set out? Not really except for being consistent with my blog kind of.

This body is not the one I planned to go into 40 with but looks like I am. I didn’t still plan on putting my hands up when I hear All the Single Ladies. I hoped to know more about the adoption process, saving money, agencies that will help etc. because 40 year old eggs are different than 20 year old eggs. And I sure as heck thought I would have a job that I  like.

58 DAYS OMG!!!

Beware this is a woe is me post LOL!

I am less than 2 months away from the BIG 4-0 and all I feel is bleh! I started this blog almost 2 years ago and it was in anticipation of this big day and as we are super close I got nothing.

I’m not sure what I expected…well, yes I do, I thought I would be married or close. Have a baby or in the process, working in a career I love or at least one that when I have a bad day I can go shopping and not have to worry about my bank account. I thought my blog would be booming, I would have followers who I interact with regularly and we would have started a whole community on loving the lives we have not the one we envisioned. I would be on my way to making my blog profitable and maybe just maybe somebody famous would have given me a shout out and following me.

Do You Ever Feel Guilty For Having a Lazy Day?

Am I though?

This past weekend was crazy busy in addition as I shared last week I haven’t really been sleeping well so I was exhausted. I was off Monday and I literally did not do a thing. I barely ate.

I had an event I really wanted to go to and really felt like I needed to be there. I had loads of laundry to do, and some other things I needed to do (I will not share those things because I will be judged LOL) yet I did nothing. I slept and watched TV.

But for some reason I felt super guilty like I should have been productive and it’s strange. It’s not like this is the first time I have had a lazy day but for some weird reason on Monday the guilt was real.

Stress is the Devil!!

Me All Day LOL!

I know that yet I continue to let it run my life. The crazy part is I know it doesn’t have to.

I went home this past weekend...trips home always make me remember that my life doesn’t really suck and I can really enjoy life! I enjoy spending time with my crazy parents…they really should have their own reality show. I sleep better, my mind seems to be at ease, and I just have a good time.

It’s as if for those couple of days I don’t live in reality and/or I know how to forget about my reality and just enjoy life. So, the big question is why the hell can’t I do that daily???

The fact is my life does not suck, actually it is a pretty good life overall…I have some first world problems but I am sure if I took a survey there are so many people dealing with the same crap I am yet they don’t let it take them down.

I looked up symptoms of stress and below are a few that I experience: