"This is Us" Has Me Trying to Get Back On Track AGAIN!!

Things I'm Trying to Grasp:

• Life will have crappy moments but they will not kill you
• Some people are mean just because
• Some people find joy in ruining yours
• You have to learn how to create your own happy
• Misery loves company
• People's opinions of me shouldn't mean SH&#
• People are stupid (not all but some)
• Laughing is always good
• I really need to stop giving AF
• I can't control anyone but myself
• God has my back regardless
• Getting older isn't a bad thing because the alternative kind of sucks

There are many more but I think you get the point. "This is Us" has to be one of the best shows right now on TV and this week I cried until I had a headache, nose running, eyes swollen it was bad.

What I realized as I went about my day yesterday is that part of the crying was the show but the other part was how I'm feeling about where I am right now in my life and what is going on around me. I am almost 40 years old and still trying to find a good happy. Still letting small things get to me, letting people ruin my day, week etc. and it has to stop.

Today is Valentine's Day & I'm Still Alive!

I really mean it!

I can't believe it...it's love day and it didn't kill me. Today is a BIG day for some...the day of love, the day your boo/bae treats you really special and in addition you get flowers, candy, dinner etc.

In case you are super confused for years and I mean years I have not had a Valentine and so I HATED this holiday.

This day use to make me so sad...I mean I hated seeing all of the decorations in the stores, the sappy commercials etc. But this year is different.

I'm not sad, I'm not mad...indifferent maybe? I don't know how to explain it I just know I'm okay.

Don't get me wrong I'm not trying to act like Valentine's Day shouldn't be a BIG deal and I think if you have someone you absolutely should celebrate it. Best believe if/when I get boo we are definitely celebrating it to the max LOL!

But what I am saying is today I'm not sad, I don't hate love day, I even have on red and I know for sure my life will not end because I don't have a Valentine's Day Date. I mean let's be honest if it was I would have been out of here years ago :)!

This may seem small to some people but for me it's big because it shows I'm growing a little and I also understand this is what we call a first world problem and I'm going to be okay with or without a Valentine.

BUT...let me put this out there so nobody can come back to this post and say but you said you were okay. Whenever this boo thang comes I want EVERYTHANG....YES EVERYTHANG. I want candy, flowers, balloons, dinner, Tiffany's and Pandora. I mean he has to make-up for all of the years I missed right? LOL!

Seriously, I hope everyone enjoys their Valentine's Day however you plan to celebrate it and I promise I will like all the lovey dovey post and will not have any bad thoughts!

Signed,
Almost 40 and Survived Valentine's Day

Sooo...About This Self-Care Thing!

Self-Care is one of those hot words now and I am pretty sure I am doing it all wrong! In my head self-care, is laying in the bed watching Netflix, Hulu, or my DVR and eating really bad food. I don’t think that’s what it means.

My brain is always on 1000 worrying about something or someone and my patience level stays at a negative 1000 and it is all mostly self-inflicted I really need to chill out.

Not saying 40 is old but as you get older you must do better with taking care of yourself before your body does it for you.

Yesterday everything annoyed me…I literally wanted to run away, change my name and never look back. Dramatic…I know LOL!

I never totally feel at peace…so, I decided to first look up what exactly is self-care.

 Self-care is care provided “for you, by you.” It's about identifying your own needs and taking steps to meet them. It is taking the time to do some of the activities that nurture you. Self-care is about taking proper care of yourself and treating yourself as kindly as you treat others.

It’s Official…This is MY Year!

Well, it’s 2017 and I was born in 1977 so the time has come (as if you didn’t know) I turn 40 this year. Insert screams, claps, and rounds of applause please and thank you.  Me all 2017 video below LOL! And yes I will be performing a part of this in a leotard on May 13, 2017 😄!

In addition it’s my first post of the year so here we go…New Year, New Me… NOT!!

If you have been following my blog then you know I have been working on myself for quite some time so a new year is just that a new year.

This whole journey and after is all about growth for me. Life throws you punches all the time but it is how you handle them is what matters. And I will admit I don’t handle all of the punches to well.

And to keep it real some of the stuff I am working on will happen and some might not. But what I did figure out is it took me almost 40 years to get to this place of acknowledgment so it’s probably going to take a while to master it all.

I Had A Major Epiphany Over Christmas!!

TRUTH!!

I know I said the month of December we should put real life aside but something happened over Christmas and I have to share.

Definition of Perception: An awareness of things through the physical senses, especially sight!

My weight has always been an issue or at least I can’t ever remember a time I didn’t think about it and I think…NO… I know it has shaped my life and not in a good way.

Based on how I see myself I have been a chunkster forever…maybe lose a pound or two here or there but over all chubby. And in high school I really thought I was fat,that carried to college and now.

Feeling Inspired…

Black Girl Magic!!!

Oprah and the FLOTUS interview this week gave me so much life. I had all the feels. It was something about seeing those two powerful black women just chatting and hanging out that was so inspiring. Just watching them made me want to be better. The interview was nothing short of amazing but one of the things I realized is they are just like me they started a path like mine and they worked their butts off to be where they are now. And they both are truly walking in their purpose.

As you know I turn 40 next year…shocker LOL and I feel like by then, heck by now I should be out here being great and making big moves doing what I love but I’m not.  I’m not sure what it was but seeing them on primetime TV made me see a new world. Yes, we have dude as our president (I’m working on the go low we go high thing) but there is still so much to be excited and hopeful about…I don’t know it just made me want to really be awesome.

I LOVE CHRISTMAS MOVIES!!

Classic!!

Here’s the deal…life is going to continue to happen and man mine is turnt all the way up but it is the most wonderful time of the year so I decided to press pause on real life for a while and have a little fun.

Christmas movies make me extremely happy…whomever decided to start making them I love them. I am a hopeless romantic and maybe possibly super cheesy but honestly I love them all.

 All I need is a good happily ever after and  if they include a baby in the ending it for sure goes down as best Christmas movie ever. Oh and add a family coming together it just warms my heart.

I also don’t discriminate I don’t care what color the characters are they all make me happy and warm and fuzzy inside.

I decided to share some of my favs…please believe this is not all of them but these really make me happy and most I have probably watched a LOT of times. Also, in no particular order just how they popped in my head.