"This is Us" Has Me Trying to Get Back On Track AGAIN!!

Things I'm Trying to Grasp:

• Life will have crappy moments but they will not kill you
• Some people are mean just because
• Some people find joy in ruining yours
• You have to learn how to create your own happy
• Misery loves company
• People's opinions of me shouldn't mean SH&#
• People are stupid (not all but some)
• Laughing is always good
• I really need to stop giving AF
• I can't control anyone but myself
• God has my back regardless
• Getting older isn't a bad thing because the alternative kind of sucks

There are many more but I think you get the point. "This is Us" has to be one of the best shows right now on TV and this week I cried until I had a headache, nose running, eyes swollen it was bad.

What I realized as I went about my day yesterday is that part of the crying was the show but the other part was how I'm feeling about where I am right now in my life and what is going on around me. I am almost 40 years old and still trying to find a good happy. Still letting small things get to me, letting people ruin my day, week etc. and it has to stop.

Today is Valentine's Day & I'm Still Alive!

I really mean it!

I can't believe it...it's love day and it didn't kill me. Today is a BIG day for some...the day of love, the day your boo/bae treats you really special and in addition you get flowers, candy, dinner etc.

In case you are super confused for years and I mean years I have not had a Valentine and so I HATED this holiday.

This day use to make me so sad...I mean I hated seeing all of the decorations in the stores, the sappy commercials etc. But this year is different.

I'm not sad, I'm not mad...indifferent maybe? I don't know how to explain it I just know I'm okay.

Don't get me wrong I'm not trying to act like Valentine's Day shouldn't be a BIG deal and I think if you have someone you absolutely should celebrate it. Best believe if/when I get boo we are definitely celebrating it to the max LOL!

But what I am saying is today I'm not sad, I don't hate love day, I even have on red and I know for sure my life will not end because I don't have a Valentine's Day Date. I mean let's be honest if it was I would have been out of here years ago :)!

This may seem small to some people but for me it's big because it shows I'm growing a little and I also understand this is what we call a first world problem and I'm going to be okay with or without a Valentine.

BUT...let me put this out there so nobody can come back to this post and say but you said you were okay. Whenever this boo thang comes I want EVERYTHANG....YES EVERYTHANG. I want candy, flowers, balloons, dinner, Tiffany's and Pandora. I mean he has to make-up for all of the years I missed right? LOL!

Seriously, I hope everyone enjoys their Valentine's Day however you plan to celebrate it and I promise I will like all the lovey dovey post and will not have any bad thoughts!

Signed,
Almost 40 and Survived Valentine's Day