What Is My Definition Of Success?

I'm on my way...I think/I hope!!

I was asked to answer this question a few weeks ago and I have really been thinking about it and I think I finally have it. But if you have followed my blog for a while you know there is a story coming…I can’t just simply give a 1-2 sentence response LOL!

In my 20’s I think well I know success to me was balling, making it rain at the mall (I do not think those words were out in my 20’s but no clue what the cool lingo was back then J) but you get my point. All I thought about or cared about was making money…I had a few, maybe several jobs in my 20’s because I wanted to make a lot of money I didn’t care about the job itself I just wanted  to shop when I wanted to, eat out whenever, etc.

Then the early 30’s hit and success to me was being a wife and mother. It consumed my life and made me feel like my life sucked because I wasn’t that. To me that is where I was supposed to be. I lived La Vida Loca in my 20’s and now it was time to settle I mean doesn’t everyone do that in their 30’s. And since I wasn’t there or even close I felt like a loser for lack of a better word.

So, here we are now in my late 30’s and I think I know what I want success to look like for me. Success to me is being a great daughter, an awesome aunt, a cool sister, and a fantastic friend. 

Years ago I was watching this episode of Oprah and this lady said she wrote her own obituary and she wasn’t really pleased with it so she worked on being a different person.

Right now at this point if I wrote my obituary I’m not sure what it would say and I’m not sure it would all be great. When I leave this earth I don’t want my friends and family to struggle to find good things to say about me or to leave a lot out.

You know you have been to those funerals where people struggle to find the right words because that person sucked!  I want my friends and family to be able to say she made this world a better place while she was here and I am glad she was in my life.

Understand I would be lying if I said I still didn’t want to make it rain in Louis Vuitton one day but I would also like to make it rain at a homeless shelter.  

I also still want to be a mother and wife but my goal is not to let that define my success but to make that an addition to my success. I may not ever be a wife but I have plans to become a mother maybe not naturally but adoption is there and when that happens I will be the best mother I can be…thankfully I have an awesome role model. Shout out to my momma.

At the end of the day I think we all can define success however we want I think you just have to figure out what works for you and what is going to make you happy. And I am not mad if success to you is making it rain in LA down Rodeo Drive but just take me with you LOL!

How do you define success?

Signed,

Almost 40

Three Words I Thought I Would Never Say!!

Hope It's a Great One!

Happy Valentine’s Day!! If you know me and /or have followed me on social media you know I am usually the Grinch who stole Valentine’s Day but not this year.

In addition to today being Valentine’s Day I am also going to a baby shower… attending a baby shower on the biggest couple holiday of the year would typically make me the queen of woe is me!

But not today I am okay… In the words of Nivea’ song “Okay” I am feeling good, feeling great, I look good, don’t hate! Granted no one is hating on me but it is a part of the song LOL!

Today, I’m happy…I’m not sad because I’m single and dateless I’m genuinely happy. Of course there are things I am concerned about but overall life isn’t bad so I am not going to spend this day being a Grinch.

I even have on red to really make a statement…usually I wear all black to really show my misery.

This may seem small to some people but it’s big for me…I have hated this holiday for years and I have the Facebook posts to show it. I mean sat in my house super sad…roughly sad 2 weeks in February so the fact that I’m not on February 14, 2016 I am proud of me and patting myself on the back.

I am a work in progress and as I continue in this journey I am learning that life really is what you make it and I want to make mine happy.  I would be lying if I said I didn’t hope/pray one day that I will be celebrating Valentine’s Day with a boo and maybe even a kid but this one I am celebrating with some awesome friends and that’s totally okay.

Now, let’s be clear because I do not want judgment later…there very well maybe a woe is me day in the near future…I’m human! So, continue to pray for me on this journey!

I hope everyone enjoys their Valentine’s Day and whatever it brings you…I’m definitely going to enjoy mine. Might even treat myself to a nice dinner!

Signed,

Almost 40

I use to hate February but now I don’t!!

Sing the title to the beat of Lauryn Hill & Mary J Blige’s “I use to love him” LOL!

If you are a friend, family member or have followed me on social media the last several years you know I despise February.

If you aren’t sure exactly how I feel about it…this clip pretty much sums it up! Click here to see how I feel about this stupid holiday!

I totally get it…its black history month & two of my favorite people in the world were born in February...my daddy and my nephew!

But that stupid holiday is also in February...que the violin... VALENTINES DAY!!

And because of that for more years than I care to admit I have hated this month. I haven't had a Valentine or a stupid date on this day in years. So, when I walk in every freaking store and it looks like Valentine’s Day has thrown up I'm like UGHHH!!

BUT now I am almost 40 and I'm supposed to be growing and embracing life so this year I'm going to love February...treat myself to a nice gift, go out and buy me some flowers and be THANKFUL  that my daddy and my nephew are here celebrating another birthday.

Now I would be lying if I said I didn't want a Valentine but this year I'm going to do my best to not dwell on it and live in my feelings. This year I want to acknowledge that it sucks because I'm single yet again but move on. Not be sad for the next couple of weeks.

I still may or may not do a big side eye when I walk in Target or Walmart and all I see is red, pink, hearts, and bears, oh my…hey I'm human and I'm allowed to have a moment. They key is not to live in it and that's my goal this month.

And who knows maybe next year this post will be totally different...I just may have a date and/or a Valentine!!! A girl can dream right!!

Signed,
Almost 40